When a dear friend arrived at a wedding with her two-month-old in tow, all of us girls were like bees around a hive, taking turns passing her around, rocking her, imagining ourselves as new moms with the tiny little girl in our arms. One of the things I remember most was her husband describing what he had liked best, so far, about the experience of parenting: watching his wife become a mother. He went on to describe how he’d been amazed by her patience and warmth; when, late at night, the baby would be crying (yet again) she would respond with laughter and love rather than his knee-jerk groans and moans. When he felt awkward and unsure around the baby, his wife – also a first-time parent – exuded quiet calm and confidence. I can appreciate his wonder and awe. I’ve often felt those things when watching my husband become a dad.

When Audrey first entered our lives, I fielded congratulatory phone calls from friends & family members in the days that followed, and a comment that an aunt made stands out in particular. She said, isn’t it just like you grew another heart? To which I replied, yes! of course. But it wasn’t an entirely accurate description of how I felt. Motherhood took a little longer for me to adjust to, and the profound love I have for Audrey – that extra heart’s worth – grew over time.

Joey, on the other hand, was smitten right out of the gate. Having experienced pregnancy along side me, but of course not actually experiencing it himself, I don’t think he was quite prepared for the day of her birth. The whole idea of us becoming parents and creating this little being seemed to hit him all at once that day, as if he hadn’t really realized all along what was going on during my pregnancy. A phone call to his own father opened up an emotional valve and I overheard, in between sobs, “it just hits you, Dad, it’s an amazing thing.”

Ever since, the response Audrey has most often elicited in Joey has been a light-hearted joyfulness. Whether they’re dancing in the kitchen while I cook, inventing games like “windshield wipers” (where Joey waves her in the air from side to side with extended arms), or “working out” together (where Audrey bounces around with something resembling a jump rope while Joey actually jumps rope), they are quite the duo. I can honestly say I take a lot of my parenting cues from watching him. Like my friend’s husband, I have admired the transformation in him ever since he became a parent. And I look forward with great anticipation to watching it all over again when our next child arrives.

Happy early Father’s Day to all the great dads out there (including Audrey’s)!